In case you’re wondering about the title of this entry, these are the final words spoken in the movies Apocalypse Now, Failsafe, and The Bridge on the River Kwai.
Things don’t always turn out the way we would like, but we go through them only because we have to.
When you’re unemployed and broke, there will be lots and lots of emotions that will often invade your serenity. You’ve got a bunch to pick from: embarrassment, humiliation, frustration, and on and on and on. But there’s one that will pretty much represent your theme song as you go through your daily routines. In fact, it will represent the strongest emotion of them all. See how much you have to look forward to?
It’s fear.
Good old fashioned, “What was that?” “Who’s there?” “I owe how much?”
I know this isn’t totally on point, but I dig the picture.
Remember when you were a kid and how frightened you were to open your closet door at night when the lights were out? Access that memory right now. It’s just like that.
The phone rings, your heart races. You hear a knock on the door and you find a convenient place to hide. The daily walk to the mailbox fills you with nothing but dread.
Phone calls go unanswered. Letters do not get opened. Knocks on the door are ignored. You sweat a lot more, your hands shake a bit, your mouth gets dry. You pace around the house with anxiety. You pull down the window shades. You can’t carry on a normal conversation with anyone. Even if you have caller ID on your cell phone and you know the incoming call is from a friend, you won’t answer it. You don’t sleep very well, and when you do, your dreams take on a real psychotic texture.
To top it all off, your mate is due home soon. And you are afraid. Why? Because you know the first thing he or she is going to ask. Yep, “How was your day? Have any luck?” How many days in a row are you going to have to answer, “Not so good. No luck today.” before you just pop and answer, “JesusChristAlmighty. Stop asking me the same Goddamn thing every day. I swear to God, I swear to God, if anything important happens, I will tell you. Now come over here and give me a big kiss, cuz I love you so much.”
If you are an Unemployed – American man reading this, the “Now come over here and give me a big kiss, cuz I love you so much.” ending is a nice touch. But don’t expect any real intimacy, because honestly, unemployed guys, unless they are like, 18, just don’t get laid. No woman in her right mind is going to have sex with you.
If you are an Unemployed – American woman reading this, that last line will get you laid. That’s because, well, he’s a guy, and he’s a pig boy. He is the dog and you are the pork chop. It’s really pretty simple when you stop and think about it.
For those of you who remember Ray Milland. (And for those that remember when it was still okay to smoke indoors.)
Get used to the fear that will be your constant companion until this unemployment issue is resolved. You are a human being, full of human emotions. And many of them, especially fear, will come out. It’s natural. You are not going crazy. You are going through what any other human being would go through.
I’m not telling you to “embrace the horror,” but I am telling you that while there is no magical formula for getting past these emotions, don’t let them begin to dominate your thinking process.
Accept them as part of the situation you are in. Right now, you’re supposed to be afraid. With time, I swear to God, you can work through all of this (refer back to chapter 2). Do not jump off the cliff.
My Advice? Realize that what you want is on the other side of fear.
RealAdviceForTheUnemployed