When you are jobless and broke, one very important thing you need to do is tell everyone including the wife/husband, the kids, the dog (or replacement dog), and anyone else who lives with you, that until further notice, protocols when calling the house have now changed.
“If anyone of you is out and needs to call the house phone. Let it ring twice. Hang up, then call again. That will be our new, special family signal. Won’t that be cool? Now, if you’re home and the phone rings, listen to the rings. It should ring twice, then stop. There needs to be a pause. Then you will hear the phone begin to ring again. At this point you may answer it. Everybody got that? Listen for the pause. No pause, no answer.”
Gee whiz, you ask. Why on earth would I want to do that? Again, we do this to temporarily (remember the “Pause” button) avoid all of the potential worrisome calls from shall we say, “certain types of undesirables” who do not have a “Pause” button for you.
If you do not do this, you will actually crouch down behind the kitchen counter every time you hear the phone ring, because you just know it’s a bill collector and they can actually see you and know you’re home, and why aren’t you answering?
If you engage this system, but for some stupid reason, pick up the receiver before you you make sure it’s your “special signal,” you will hear a voice on the other end of the phone say, “Mr/Mrs. (insert your name here) this is Gary, (probably that guy from New Dehli your former boss told you about. You know, the one who could do your job for one tenth the salary) from (insert the name of the finance company here). Where the hell is my money?”
At this juncture I can only advise you to try and work out some sort of restructuring of whatever debt he is talking about. If you are unable to do so, tell him to send his boys over and take your couch. It’s a real nice one and quite comfortable. Tell him to sell it. That will at least help pay off some of your debt.
Gary will not find this funny. In reality it’s not, but it’s kind of funny to you. Anyway, what the hell, Gary is in New Delhi, and it will take his moving truck weeks to get to your place to pick up that couch.
My Advice? Hold it together.
RealAdviceForTheUnemployed